My Journey to Surrender

When I was a child I was not brought up in a church environment, (although my parents said they took me a couple times) I was not told worship any particular God and I most certainly was not brought up to believe that any particular religion was right or wrong. My parents simply didn’t address the issue.
Through out my teen years it was brought to my attention that my Father had longed searched for a God that suited him. He tried on every religion there was and never seemed to settle comfortably into one belief- this qued my curiosity as well. When I was about 14 I started going to church with friends, looking into Buddhism and developing my own ideas on what it meant to have ‘God’ in my life.
I soon settled on the thought that all religion originated from one place and it was interpreted differently throughout the entire world. I focused on many of the Buddhist principles that encouraged peace, love and generosity. Heck, I even got a tattoo of Buddha that symbolizes Peace & Enlightenment.
Some of us, perhaps most of us, were raised in a society where it was taught that God is there to watch over us, but should we step out of line his forgiveness is not easy to come by. From time to time, some of us might even be doomed to Hell for not following his word, for being Gay, for not going to church, or for not accepting him as our personal savior. I don’t know about you, but the concept of a God turning his back on me when I needed him most turned me off. It made me not want to know God at all.
I started calling my higher power The Universe. The term, ‘The Universe’ was freeing for me. It did not carry any negative connotation, there was no guilt, no shame, just enlightenment, peace and inspiration. Through Mike Dooley’s speaking, I learned that the power to alter my life and way of being was in my thoughts. I have practiced ‘Thoughts Become Things’ for 3 years now and have created a world that I never imagined existing.
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, that my world started to shift far beyond what I deemed possible. My perception of God and all that he is was altered and my world opened up. I received a gift in the mail from my good friend, Leslee Horner- a book, entitled ‘A Return to Love’ by Marianne Williamson. I doubt Leslee realized what a profound impact this gift would have on my life at the time she bought it for me. Every page I turned, every chapter I entered brought me to a new platform of my knowledge of God.
‘A Return to Love’ teaches that God is Love- nothing more, nothing less. God does not wish to punish us; he wants to heal us, to shift our perception of reality. Our soul purpose for existing is to be love.

Human relationships exist to produce love. When we pollute our relationships with unloving thoughts, or destroy or abort them with unloving attitudes, we are threatening our emotional survival.

In that moment it became clear to me. The solution to all my conflicts was love. Returning my thoughts to love at any moment of despair, anger, especially fear would be a miracle, a break through in how I have been living my life.
Perhaps the most important moment of realization was when I was on vacation this past week. I found myself standing in waves of the ocean on a dark beach with nothing but the stars above me. In that moment, I Surrendered. I Surrendered my life, my thoughts, my goals, my relationships, my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions, my future; I handed all over to God.

We are simply asked to shift focus and to take on a more gently perception. That’s all God needs. Just one sincere surrendered moment, when love matters more than anything, and we know that nothings else really matters at all. What He gives us in return for our openness to Him, is an outpouring of His power from deep within us. We are given His power to share with world, to heal wounds, to awaken hearts.

If my purpose here on earth is to be a vessel for God’s love- I’m down. Who needs some lovin’?!

What about you Pinkies, have you been hiding from the love of God, from the love of our Universe? I invite you to embrace your fears, hand them over to The Universe, open your heart to love and anything is truly possible.

Pink Lovemuffin Extraordinaire

As you may know from some of my tweets a few weeks ago I received a book in the mail from @LesleeHorner, ‘A Return to Love’ by Marianne Williamson. Before I even received it, not having any idea what it was about, I was thrilled! As I began to read the book I felt as if a series of events throughout my lifetime got this book in my hands. The topics that it touches and the opinion of Marianne’s writing validates so many things I have always believe about The Universe. And further- Marianne’s explanation of God and his love blew my mind! Most of us grow up believing that God is a higher power who we turn to when we are in distress, someone who will punish us when do wrong and a being that will turn his head when we are at the pearly gates if we took a wrong turn in life. Marianne explains that God is Love and we are God, simple as that.

‘There’s actually no place where God stops and you start,’ and no place where you stop and I start. Love is energy, an infinite continuum.’

When I started working with Owning Pink I was given the title ‘Pink Lovemuffin Extraordinaire.’ Though I was thrilled about my being crowned Pink Lovemuffin, I didn’t really get it- until yesterday. As we were driving to Port Aransas, Texas I was reading my book in the car. I came to the chapter entitled ‘Surrender’ as I kept reading, tears began to stream down my face.

‘He does this by showing us the possibility of a loving purpose in everything we think and do….He teaches us to see love as our only function. Everything we do in our loves will be used, or interpreted, by the ego or the Holy Spirit. The ego uses everything to lead further into anxiety. The Holy Spirit uses everything to lead us into inner peace.’

I cry when something is beautiful, when a person finds the courage to express themselves fully, when you make a connection with someone without trying, when miracles happen, when dreams come true, when understand is gathered, when enlightenment is achieved. I fill up with warm fuzziness, my stomach swarms with butterflies and my heart pounds. I finally saw what it is that you Pinkies had been seeing all along.
I really am your Pink Lovemuffin Extraordinaire. I OWN it. I seek love and passion in every situation. I am mushy and vulnerable, enthused and huggable. There is nothing that I more. I get it, I finally get it.

‘As surely as a lack of oxygen will kill us so will a lack of love.’

My New Pink Journal

I had to stop by Half Priced Books while we were driving around in Austin. HPB is one of my most favorite stores- filled with books, music and journals, OH MY! The thought that the books that exist within the walls of that building were passed down from one reader to another excites me. So many of them have notes written in the margins and they fall open when placed in your hand. It is as if the books tell another story than what lies printed on the pages. The smell of a good books store soothes me to my bones.

Journal shopping is something that is not a 'one stop shop' for me. It takes me up to an hour or so to find the perfect journal. I usually end up picking out one or two and having to flip through pages and get a real feel for what the paper is saying to me. I have always had journals, I always juggle between them depending on what mood I am in. But today was different for me.

The two journals I stumbled upon were leather. When opened, the right side of the pages were lined and the left side blank- perfect. This way I could print out pictures of the occasion and place them on the blank side. I thought this would be an easy choice. Just as I was settling into the comfort of my new brown, leather worn in journal, I glanced up at the top shelf. There lied an identical journal with the exception that the color was PINK.

I stood in the isle of Half Priced Books staring at the two journals, running the pages through my fingers, flipping from cover to cover, hoping that something in one of these almost identical journals would speak to me. The longer I looked, the more indecisive I became.

The feeling I got when I held the brown leather journal was that of comfort and security. When I looked at it, I felt as if I could relate to the light brown color and truly fill the pages with thought provoking, honest emotions. When I held the pink journal and pondered through the blank pages I found that the color and pages so closely displayed how my life has been for the last couple of months. Not only am I working for Owning Pink, but the brightly colored eccentric journal screamed 'flava' and originality.

Then my inner Pink Goddess screamed at me from with in- 'BUY THE PINK ONE! YOU NEED THE PINK ONE! IT WAS PUT HERE FOR YOU! The Pink Journal represented everything I have ever wanted but was too afraid to jump for. My current life is something I have never dreamed of and though my financial situation isn't ideal, I am constantly surrounded by and meeting new beautiful people, going wonderful places and stumbling upon new self discoveries. Not to mention having the job of my dreams, a boyfriend to die for and an apartment I love.

Needless to say, I bought the Pink Journal. Though it frightened me to take it to the counter, with my knees trembling and palms sweating I took a PLEAP (Pink Leap of Faith) and took a stand for the life I want. Buying this journal is me officially surrendering, it is my profoundly going where I have never dared to go before and taking on my life full throttle.

Without having met Lissa and all of the wonderful Pinkies, I would have not found my calling so soon, nor would I have been so inspired to truly live a life without fear (still working on this one!) A big Thank you to all of you lovely ladies!