I Cry

I can remember back when I was in High School (which wasn't all that long ago time wise, though it feels like ages) I never cried unless I was angry, upset or menstrual, lol. These days it seems that I cry at least once a day, especially now that I have been so blessed as to know you wonderful Pinkies.

With every post, every comment, every tweet, email, message and comment my heart gets bigger and bigger (here come the water works.) I only wish that I grew up knowing of all the beauty in the world, all of the miracles that people create by allowing themselves to be a vessel for the magic of the Universe and love that roots so deeply in all of us.

When I start talking to someone these days, I often have to warn them that I might begin to cry and I have come to accept that crying is what I do when I talk about something that is important to me. The other day, the internet wasn't working at my house and I had to go to Starbucks to get online. Of course I was irritated when I got there because of all the hassle. About an hour or so into my Internet usage a couple of people sat beside that were on probation and looking for work. They had a lot of paper work to fill out as proof that they were looking for a job for the court. I couldn't help but listen to them talk, one of the guys had recently found God and was trying to better for himself. In that moment, I knew why I was sent to Starbucks and why my Internet didn't work. I gave him one of my cards, told him about my workshop (Be Joyful) and let him read some of the things I had highlighted from 'A Return to Love' by Marianne Williamson. He said, 'I didn't think there was anyone else out there like me?!' I told him to call me if he ever needed anything, anyone to talk to, moral support, etc. and of course, I was tearing up during our entire conversation.

I use to think that crying meant I was weak. Now I know that it is just something my face does when I really care about someone. Thank you Pinkies for making me cry on a daily basis. You have all enriched my life with endless amounts of joy and love. I am blessed to be able to create with you.

Lots of Love,
Megan

Another Poem from a While Ago

The silence is too quiet,
but the noise is too loud,
be still my beating heart,
sometimes you're too proud.

I cannot hide my anger,
I can but shed my tears,
The only way you'll know,
Is if you ask me what I fear.

I don't cry in front of people,
I try not to at least,
You shouldn't tempt my anger,
Because inside there lives a beast.

You may never get a chance,
To know the real me,
Go on living your life to live,
Just be.

The silence is too quiet,
The noise is too loud,
Be still my beating heart,
Because sometimes you're too proud.

My Journey to Surrender

When I was a child I was not brought up in a church environment, (although my parents said they took me a couple times) I was not told worship any particular God and I most certainly was not brought up to believe that any particular religion was right or wrong. My parents simply didn’t address the issue.
Through out my teen years it was brought to my attention that my Father had longed searched for a God that suited him. He tried on every religion there was and never seemed to settle comfortably into one belief- this qued my curiosity as well. When I was about 14 I started going to church with friends, looking into Buddhism and developing my own ideas on what it meant to have ‘God’ in my life.
I soon settled on the thought that all religion originated from one place and it was interpreted differently throughout the entire world. I focused on many of the Buddhist principles that encouraged peace, love and generosity. Heck, I even got a tattoo of Buddha that symbolizes Peace & Enlightenment.
Some of us, perhaps most of us, were raised in a society where it was taught that God is there to watch over us, but should we step out of line his forgiveness is not easy to come by. From time to time, some of us might even be doomed to Hell for not following his word, for being Gay, for not going to church, or for not accepting him as our personal savior. I don’t know about you, but the concept of a God turning his back on me when I needed him most turned me off. It made me not want to know God at all.
I started calling my higher power The Universe. The term, ‘The Universe’ was freeing for me. It did not carry any negative connotation, there was no guilt, no shame, just enlightenment, peace and inspiration. Through Mike Dooley’s speaking, I learned that the power to alter my life and way of being was in my thoughts. I have practiced ‘Thoughts Become Things’ for 3 years now and have created a world that I never imagined existing.
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, that my world started to shift far beyond what I deemed possible. My perception of God and all that he is was altered and my world opened up. I received a gift in the mail from my good friend, Leslee Horner- a book, entitled ‘A Return to Love’ by Marianne Williamson. I doubt Leslee realized what a profound impact this gift would have on my life at the time she bought it for me. Every page I turned, every chapter I entered brought me to a new platform of my knowledge of God.
‘A Return to Love’ teaches that God is Love- nothing more, nothing less. God does not wish to punish us; he wants to heal us, to shift our perception of reality. Our soul purpose for existing is to be love.

Human relationships exist to produce love. When we pollute our relationships with unloving thoughts, or destroy or abort them with unloving attitudes, we are threatening our emotional survival.

In that moment it became clear to me. The solution to all my conflicts was love. Returning my thoughts to love at any moment of despair, anger, especially fear would be a miracle, a break through in how I have been living my life.
Perhaps the most important moment of realization was when I was on vacation this past week. I found myself standing in waves of the ocean on a dark beach with nothing but the stars above me. In that moment, I Surrendered. I Surrendered my life, my thoughts, my goals, my relationships, my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions, my future; I handed all over to God.

We are simply asked to shift focus and to take on a more gently perception. That’s all God needs. Just one sincere surrendered moment, when love matters more than anything, and we know that nothings else really matters at all. What He gives us in return for our openness to Him, is an outpouring of His power from deep within us. We are given His power to share with world, to heal wounds, to awaken hearts.

If my purpose here on earth is to be a vessel for God’s love- I’m down. Who needs some lovin’?!

What about you Pinkies, have you been hiding from the love of God, from the love of our Universe? I invite you to embrace your fears, hand them over to The Universe, open your heart to love and anything is truly possible.

My New Pink Journal

I had to stop by Half Priced Books while we were driving around in Austin. HPB is one of my most favorite stores- filled with books, music and journals, OH MY! The thought that the books that exist within the walls of that building were passed down from one reader to another excites me. So many of them have notes written in the margins and they fall open when placed in your hand. It is as if the books tell another story than what lies printed on the pages. The smell of a good books store soothes me to my bones.

Journal shopping is something that is not a 'one stop shop' for me. It takes me up to an hour or so to find the perfect journal. I usually end up picking out one or two and having to flip through pages and get a real feel for what the paper is saying to me. I have always had journals, I always juggle between them depending on what mood I am in. But today was different for me.

The two journals I stumbled upon were leather. When opened, the right side of the pages were lined and the left side blank- perfect. This way I could print out pictures of the occasion and place them on the blank side. I thought this would be an easy choice. Just as I was settling into the comfort of my new brown, leather worn in journal, I glanced up at the top shelf. There lied an identical journal with the exception that the color was PINK.

I stood in the isle of Half Priced Books staring at the two journals, running the pages through my fingers, flipping from cover to cover, hoping that something in one of these almost identical journals would speak to me. The longer I looked, the more indecisive I became.

The feeling I got when I held the brown leather journal was that of comfort and security. When I looked at it, I felt as if I could relate to the light brown color and truly fill the pages with thought provoking, honest emotions. When I held the pink journal and pondered through the blank pages I found that the color and pages so closely displayed how my life has been for the last couple of months. Not only am I working for Owning Pink, but the brightly colored eccentric journal screamed 'flava' and originality.

Then my inner Pink Goddess screamed at me from with in- 'BUY THE PINK ONE! YOU NEED THE PINK ONE! IT WAS PUT HERE FOR YOU! The Pink Journal represented everything I have ever wanted but was too afraid to jump for. My current life is something I have never dreamed of and though my financial situation isn't ideal, I am constantly surrounded by and meeting new beautiful people, going wonderful places and stumbling upon new self discoveries. Not to mention having the job of my dreams, a boyfriend to die for and an apartment I love.

Needless to say, I bought the Pink Journal. Though it frightened me to take it to the counter, with my knees trembling and palms sweating I took a PLEAP (Pink Leap of Faith) and took a stand for the life I want. Buying this journal is me officially surrendering, it is my profoundly going where I have never dared to go before and taking on my life full throttle.

Without having met Lissa and all of the wonderful Pinkies, I would have not found my calling so soon, nor would I have been so inspired to truly live a life without fear (still working on this one!) A big Thank you to all of you lovely ladies!

Austin, Texas

It was as if The Universe had opened up and shined down upon me, telling me my world was going to be just fine. Everything was exactly how it should be and to surrender my fear.
Our vacation began in Austin, we decided to come here for a couple days to break up the drive. I was also slightly eager to get out of Ennis. I love where I live, but every now and then we just need an escape. Our first visit was to Mount Bonnell, one of my favorite look outs in Austin.
Our adventures just started and I am anxious to see what is coming my way. I feel that this journey is going to be a significant one.

Here is my Note from The Universe that I received this morning. I found it particularly wonderful.

"Megan, do you know why dogs are so quick to wag their tails and cats are so quick to purr? Even the ones that have been lonely, abused, and betrayed?

Because, as is true of all animals, they were instilled with the distant awareness that no matter what the world shows them, they're still deeply loved and needed, that their presence alone has made a difference, and that in just the shake of a leg, seemingly without reason or rhyme, everything can FANTASTICALLY change for the better.

As is true of all people, except sometimes they tend to forget.

Purrfectly,
The Universe"


Please leave having read this and having got something profound out of his words.

A New Plateau

Hello There All! So glad you could join the conversation!

As of Monday, I am officially a member of the Owning Pink Staff. This opportunity is has been more than a blessing to me. I want to take this opportunity, now that I have your attention, to tell you why this occasion is beyond both unbelievable and phenomenal.

1. Ever since the first time I tweeted (sounds so dirty!) @lissarankin I loved her. The message that she brings to everyone she comes into contact with is what so many of us have been searching for our whole lives. Most of were probably thinking along the lines of the same things. However, Lissa had the "balls" to through her message out there, shouting it from the roof tops! For that I will always adore her.

2. The community that is created through Owning Pink is not only a strong, triumphant group of people (mostly women), but also a vulnerable one at that. Owning Pink is place where everyone can take their shoes off, lean back and make themselves at home. The people that crowd the pages of The Owning Pink Forums are so boldly creating there lives as they have always dreamed. They are doing it all and sharing every moment of it with YOU. (Lucky Us!)

3. I have longed- LONGED- to be a writer for as long as I can remember. I published a poem in the 5th grade. In high school, I was editor of the newspaper and yearbook advertising. I wrote for the newspaper and also designed some of the pages, as well as a Magazine cover. I still have it packed away in my craft closet for future applause. Being able to write for Owning Pink is step onto a giant platform that IS my future. Since that moment, all of my dreams and ambitions suddenly became real and so much bigger than I anticipated.

4. A glimpse at the mere thought that Lissa and Joy classify me with themis breath taking. More than that- it's unreal.

All of these things gave me a new appreciation for the world I have created and the dreams that soon to come. Now, I can see the light and nothing- NOTHING, is standing in my way!

World, here I come!

XO
Megan